By Sam Amadi
When there is crisis or human tragedy some foolish people take it as an opportunity to attack the church. Which particular church? The whole church? Did the church force anyone to marry? Did you not hear the church teach that some will be eunuch for Christ? Did the church ask anyone to beat his wife or ask a wife to beat her husband? Which church asked someone to have abusive marriage? Does abusive marriage descend from heaven? Is it not the work of two mistaken and unwise adults? How is the church responsible?
Someone refuses to abandon a terrible marriage because of what church members will say. How about people who refuse to leave such marriages because their friends and relations will laugh at them? Is it the fault of their friends that they are silly to predicate actions on what people will say? How come it is always the fault of the church that people take silly actions because they want to deceive members of their church that they are happy? Is it not the same way many of you come to social media and post pictures of your idyllic family life when you know you are living in a hell? Is it your atheist associations and secular sororities that are responsible for your stupidity?
Of course, two erratic couples can decide to work things out but fail. It is the tragedy of human action. We decide to be good but we fail because we are feeble or weakened by distractions and irresolution. When such happens, should we blame the church?
Let’s be clear. The church will never encourage anyone to abandon his or her marriage becusee of any problem. The church will counsel bad husbands and wives to repent and become vessels of honor in their marriages. The church will continue to teach that marriage is special to God and is a blessing we have received from God and we are not at liberty to dissolve it without consequences. The church does not force you to marry or remain in marriage. If you cannot live in marriage don’t marry in the church. Enter other forms of civil unions. If you cannot stay in marriage, don’t marry according to church ordinance. Make other choices. You can be live-in-lovers.
The church will not bend its doctrines to suit our cherished flaws and our descent into willfulness. No, the church will not. You have a choice to marry or not to marry; to remain in marriage or not to remain. But it is your choice and the church will continue to uphold the divine mystery and meaning of marriage.
• Amadi PhD, is a law lecturer at Baze University, Abuja.