By Aniekeme Finbarr
1. Don’t try to be a man. Men are not that nice to men. The real strength of a woman lies in being a woman; loving, beautiful, and invitingly soft spoken.
2. Except you can afford it, resist all Aso Ebi or colour of the day clothes made mandatory by a person inviting you to a ceremony. Nobody will prevent you from entering the venue even with the odd dress.
3. You have nothing to prove. Too much makeup, too many jewelry pieces can make you look like you’re trying too hard to impress.
4. Don’t allow your business premises be noted for gossip. Ema ubib mkpo ebanga owo, bo ke udionhoke.
5. Don’t chew food with an open mouth, nte mma ino.
6. Don’t talk with a full mouth, Eat slowly and with small bites
7. Notwithstanding any promise to the contrary, avoid lending money to anyone an amount which if you don’t receive on time will hurt your financial stability. Many friendly loans will be irrecoverable now, economy atobo tie.
8. If you have a large retinue of hangers-on around you, reduce the frequencies of meals. Let your husband or boyfriend know you are not hired to cook for his friends as a job.
9. Single or married, remain calm and happy. Marriage is just a status, not a thermometer for measuring good or bad girls
10. Dress responsibly, no indecent exposure, nobody pays to view a free to air channel.
11. Lack money but don’t lack a deodorant, ufik idem yr ufik inua asisio owo mark tutu.
12. Don’t chew gum in public and blow the bubble, ke afo udoho eboi
13. Distance yourself from friends who Lie to you, Disrespect you, Use you, Put you down.
14. Stop using that old torn PDP wrapper or that Adieu Papa t-shirt at home, look sweet, fresh with an onions-free odour. Idoho afo ikpong ke do.
15. Avoid group photographs and selfies (if you can) with ladies of questionable character and easy reputation, dem go soon count you join.
16. If you are a job seeker, please take the next available job even if it is below your dream job. Survive first. Kpong asian.
17. Plan only on funds at hand, avoid permutations based on promise made by others. In a time like this, the promisor may fail. Hold vex money, when going on a date.
18. Avoid social functions that will tell terribly on your finances in terms of distance and the content of the Programme. Why not just send ‘envelope’ to the organizers instead.
19. Don’t joke with your prayer life and spirituality. Modern witches wear make up and also have accounts on Facebook and TikTok
20. Whenever your man is down, help him o. Don’t listen to wicked advisers. Friends hardly say the truth on how their own relationship is ongoing.
• Finbarr is a public speaker and life coach.