By Azuka Onwuka
Given the type of messages many young people send on the social media to those who are not personally known to them in real life, one wonders if types of letter-writing are no longer taught in secondary school.
These days, it is common for people to send messages like “Hello, dude”, “Hi, angle” (note the spelling of what is supposed to be “angel”), “Good pm”, etc to complete strangers. They send such a supposed greeting and then wait for a response. Some may even decide to sound somewhat formal by saying: “Good day, sir” or “Good day, ma’am”. But like the first set of people, they do not proceed with their message. They wait for a response first before stating their mission. In plain language, they want to “chat” with the recipient, not to send a message.
There seems to be a new thinking among many young people who use the social media that the best way to get what they want is through chatting. That way, they can confirm that their message is received. That way too, they are sure of getting an immediate answer.
Then, if the greeting is responded to, the next thing they do is to send a question like: “How was your night?” or “How is your day going?” They actually expect that the person will respond. Mind you, this is someone who does not know them in real life. Even if they are “friends” on the social media, both of them have not had any memorable discussions to make them know each other to the extent of seeing each other as close friends. In addition, the person who is sending this may not have their real name and picture in display. But somehow such a person wants to chat.
Interestingly, many of such people complain that many people do not respond to their messages. They blame it on the arrogance of such people who think they are stars.
If you are among those who reach out to people in that format, you need to change your methodology in order to get better results.
Stop sending just “Good day, sir” or “Good day, ma’am” or “Hello” or “Hi” on Facebook, WhatsApp, Twitter, LinkedIn to people who don’t know you very well in real life and waiting for their response before telling them what you want to say. That is the format scammers and perpetual “storytellers” use. Therefore, most serious people won’t respond when you send that “Hello” or “Good day.” You will end up saying that they are arrogant or that they are snobs. But the problem is you. You probably played truant when the format of formal letter-writing was being taught in school.
If you want to apply for a job in a company or make enquiries from a company, you don’t send a “Hello” through the email and wait for a response before stating your mission. You don’t also call an office or a manager who is not your pal in real life and start with: “Hello. How was your night? How is your family?”
You may think you are being nice and courteous by sending a greeting and waiting for a response before stating your mission, but you are showing that you are not serious. You are using the informal format in a formal setting. It will elicit more of a negative reaction than a positive one.
Many people avoid responding to those who drop only “Hello” or “Good day” because the moment they respond, the stories start. If they are not starting a scam scheme, then they are asking for a love relationship, or they are asking for money, or they are trying to sell one thing or the other. And because it is online communication, there is no way to ascertain the veracity of their claims.
Therefore, if you have something serious to send to someone via the social media, don’t let your message get ignored because of the use of the wrong approach. Like Tuco of the classic film, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, would say: “When you have to shoot, shoot; don’t talk.”
When someone does not know you in real life or has not been bonding with you on the social media, rather than just dropping a “Hi” and waiting, why not say something like:
“Good day, Mrs Kanami. I read your article on career choice for young people and found it exciting, especially as regards your point on apprenticeship.
“I would like to invite you to feature in our Facebook group ‘Youths on the Go’ on any Saturday evening of your choice. Members will ask you questions about career choice and you will provide answers. It will last for two hours.
“Kindly confirm to us your availability and the date you hope to feature.
“We would be glad to be blessed with your wealth of experience.
“Thank you.
“Dijara Tiga
“Tel/WhatsApp: 0080 678 789.”
If this person reads this but does not respond, you can send a reminder, maybe a week or two after. The person may have read it and forgotten to respond because of many other things competing for the person’s attention. The reminder is very important.
If after the reminder, there is no response from that person, then you are free to assume that the person is one of those people who don’t like to respond to requests they do not want to honour. But most likely, the person would respond to you because you have shown that you are serious and that you are someone who knows how to communicate officially, something millions of other young people do not know how to do. Most importantly, you have also shown that you are not a scammer or a “storyteller” going from one inbox to another.
Even if your mission is just to commend the person for a wonderful write-up or video message, just say it straightaway in your first message. Do not ask about their night or day or family or work. It is none of your business. Such questions irritate those who are not your buddies. You can only ask your pals and family members such private questions.
Most importantly, don’t just type your message and send it off. Spend some time to proofread it, tinker with it, and edit it. Reading a message that is littered with errors is a turn-off. Don’t blame it on the auto-correct facility on your phone which changed your “hold” to “gold” or “Azuka” to “Abuja.” Draft your message, review it for some hours or for a day or two before sending it out.
Again, please don’t drop a “Hello” or “Good day” and sit back waiting for a response. Don’t put yourself in the same boat with scammers and “storytellers”. Distinguish yourself by showing that you are a serious person who understands official communication.
Be a professional; act like a professional; talk like a professional. You will get more results.
• Onwuka is a newspaper columnist and author.